The Match
Plot summary: The evil Dark Lord Zugzwang has kidnapped the best scholastic players in the Rock Valley area. His plan is to quash their good sportsmanship ways and create an evil chess team. The white wizard Lord Elo persuades the Dark Lord Zugzwang to a 3-game chess match to win their release.
Two players are playing a game in center stage.
Music: “Morning Mood” from Peer Gynt Suite
Narrator: Our story begins
at the Rock Valley College student center where area kids have gathered for the
Rock Valley Chess-For-Charity Tournament”
Player 1: “Check - I must say you played that gambit rather well”
Player 2: “Thanks - Such positive feedback contributes to an encouraging atmosphere to develop one skills.”
Narrator: Suddenly, from
out of nowhere, appears Lord Zugzwang, the dark evil wizard of the chess
underworld, accompanied by Sac, his faithful minion.
Player 1: “Lord Zugzwang!”
Player 2: “The dark, evil wizard of the chess underworld”
Lord Zugzwang: “Yes, it is me. Ha-ha-ha.”
Player 2: “Why are you here, Lord Zugzwang?
Lord Zugzwang: I’m sick of your good sportsmanship and your friendly competition. And what’s this mutual respect business?? This is not what chess should be! Chess players should be ruthless and arrogant.”
Player 1 and 2 looked
at each other confused. Shrug their shoulders.
Lord Zugzwang: Sac! Take these players to where we have the others. After we brainwash them, we will have the evilest scholastic chess team in the world!
Sac escorts players
offstage.
Exit Lord Zugzwang
Narrator: The tournament director arrives on the scene.
TD (Lord Elo): Well, this tournament section should be just about over. Hey where is everyone?
Small child (running onto stage): It was Lord Zugzwang! He kidnapped all the top players. We’ll never see them again!
TD (Lord Elo): Now calm down. Do you know where they are?
Small child: No! Oh, if only Lord Elo were here
Narrator: Yes Lord Elo champion for all that is good in chess.
TD (Lord Elo) faces audience, arms akimbo.
Narrator: Little does our young friend here know that Lord Elo is standing right here as mild-mannered Tournament Director.
TD (Lord Elo): Ah,
yes… this does sound like a job for Lord Elo
(Turns to child)
Now run along and I’ll contact him
Exit child
Lord Elo: Now to find Lord Zugzwang.
(whips out cell phone)
Narrator: Luckily Lord Elo has Google on cell phone
Lord Elo: Let’s see … Dark Overlords…Chess… Search.
Yes, here he is. Oh, and here is a phone number.
(punches in phone #) (Beep, beep, beep…)
(Enter opposite stage
Lord Zugzwang holding phone)
Lord Zugzwang: Zugzwang here!
Lord Elo: Lord Elo here. You’ve kidnapped our children and I want them back.
Lord Zugzwang: Elo! My arch nemesis! You may have stopped me before, but now you are too late. Already I have brainwashed these kids to do my bidding. They will now only sneer at their opponents, intimidate them with trash-talk, and throw pawns when the judges aren’t looking. Your good sportsmanship days are numbered. Bwa-ha-ha”
Lord Elo: “I’ll never give up on those kids! Perhaps we can
make a deal…
Lord Zugzwang: Never!
Lord Elo: Suppose I appeal to your vanity and propensity for evil, and provide an opportunity for you to humiliate me as well.
Lord Zugzwang: OK, I’m listening…
Lord Elo: Meet me at the tournament site and we’ll play a simple chess match. Winner gets the kids.
Lord Zugzwang: Hmmm… I am a little rusty but I’ll take that bet. I can beat you with one pawn tied behind my back, though usually I keep the extra pieces up my sleeve. Shall we make it two games out of three? And if you lose, you promise you will not interfere with my evil plans
Lord Elo: Agreed!
Lord Zugzwang: … and we’ll use the kids as pieces. You know how I just love to have others do my bidding.
Lord Elo: You are cruel, Lord Zugzwang
Lord Zugzwang: … thank you, It’s a gift… (evil laugh) Say, have you noticed that we evil-doers have the best laughs? How come you do-gooders don’t have a great laugh to underscore and punctuate the storyline?
Lord Elo: well, I never though about it. Let me give it a try.
Tee-hee-hee..
Let me try that again. (Clears
throat)
(Louder and deeper) TEE-HEE-HEE!
Lord Zugzwang: Pretty pathetic, Elo! Stick with do-gooding. See you on the chessboard.
Lord Elo and Lord
Zugzwang exits
Music: Darth Vader theme.
Narrator: And so the great match begins…
Sac brings the children in, dressed as pieces and moving as if in a hypnotic state. Sac prods them to their proper position with a spear.
Lord Elo enters (in
costume).
Lord Elo: Let’s get started. White or Black, Zugzwang?
Lord Zugzwang: Not going to flip a kid for it?
Lord Elo: No! Just choose!
Lord Zugzwang: Then for our first game, I’ll choose Black…my lucky color. Let’s begin!
Music: “A Fifth of
Beethoven” quietly
(Game 1)
Move # |
W: Lord |
B: Lord Zugzwang |
Commentary |
|
1 |
P e2-e4 |
N g8-f6 |
Zugzwang: Let’s try Alekhine’s defense |
|
2 |
P e4-e5 |
N f3-d5 |
|
|
3 |
P d2-d4 |
P d7-d6 |
|
|
4 |
N g1-f3 |
P d6xPe5 |
|
|
5 |
N f3xPe5 |
N b8-d7 |
|
|
6 |
N e5-Pf7 |
K e8xNf7 |
|
|
7 |
Q d1-h5+ |
K f7-e6 |
|
|
8 |
Q h5-g4+ |
K e6-d6 |
|
|
9 |
P c2-c4 |
N d7-f6 |
|
|
10 |
Q g4-g3 |
K d6-e6 |
|
|
11 |
P c4xNd5+ |
Q d8xpd5 |
|
|
12 |
N b1-c3 |
Q d5-Pd4 |
|
|
13 |
B c1-e3 |
Q d4-b4 |
|
|
14 |
P a2-a3 |
Q b4xPb2 |
|
|
15 |
B f1-c4+ |
K e6-d7 |
|
|
16 |
R a1-d1+ |
K d7-e8 |
|
|
17 |
N c3-b5 |
B c8-g4 |
|
|
20 |
N b5xPc7++ |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Music: Stops
Lord Elo: I win, Zugzwang! Ready for your next defeat?
Lord Zugzwang: Curse you, Elo! Yes, let’s get started. And I can guarantee I won’t lose this one.
(kids reset for next game)
(Game 2)
Music: “Flight of the
BumbleBee”
Move # |
W: Lord Elo |
B: Lord Zugzwang |
Commentary |
|
1 |
P d2-d4 |
N g8-f6 |
|
|
2 |
P c2-c4 |
P e7-e6 |
|
|
3 |
N b1-c3 |
B f8-b4 |
|
|
4 |
P e2-e3 |
O-O |
|
|
5 |
B f1-d3 |
P d7-d5 |
|
|
6 |
N g1-f3 |
N B8-c6 |
|
|
7 |
O-O |
P d5xPc4 |
|
|
8 |
B d3xPc4 |
B b4-d6 |
|
|
9 |
B c4-b5 |
P e6-e5 |
|
|
10 |
B b5xNc6 |
P e5xPd4 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Lord Zugzwang (to Sac): I’m not losing but I’m not winning either. I must do something.
Quick! Go get the hypno-ray and get ready to activate on my signal.
|
11 |
P e3xPd4 |
P b7xBc6 |
|
|
12 |
B c1-g5 |
R f8-e8 |
|
|
13 |
Q d1-d3 |
P c6-c5 |
|
Lord Zugzwang: You are amazing, Elo! And more formidable than I remember. You are indeed a worthy adversary.
Lord Elo: Thank you, Zugzwang. Odd you being polite… almost like you’re up to something. But then again, people can change….
Narrator: Unbeknownst to
Lord Elo, Zugzwang’s evil minion positions the powerful hypno-ray behind him.
Sac positions a strobe
light behind Lord Elo.
Lord Zugzwang: Yes, people can change. Look over there! Is that a four-board bughouse variant using marshmallow glow-in-the-dark pieces?
Narrator: Zugzwang’s minion
turns on the hypno-ray. Lord Elo is transfixed. He is powerless to resist.
Lord Zugzwang: Hee-hee-hee. This is too easy. Lord Elo - Can you hear me?
Lord Elo (emotionless): …Yes…
Lord Zugzwang: Listen to me. You will resign this game to me.
Lord Elo (emotionless): …I cannot…
Lord Zugzwang: What?? Why not?
Lord Elo (emotionless): …it would not be in the spirit of the game to resign in an even position…
Lord Zugzwang: Arrggh! Well, then make a bad move!
Lord Elo (emotionless): …I cannot…
Lord Zugzwang: Why?
Lord Elo (emotionless): …it would not be in the spirit of the game…
Lord Zugzwang: Yeah, Yeah, OK I get it already
Turns to Sac: Apparently the
hypno-ray will not allow someone to violate their principles. Now what?
Sac: Well, forgetting is not necessarily against one’s principles.
Lord Zugzwang: What does that supposed to mean?
Sac whispers into Lord
Zugzwang’s ear. Enlightenment crosses
his face.
Lord Zugzwang: Lord Elo, you will forget the possibility of a discovered attack against your queen.
Lord Elo (emotionless): …I understand…
Lord Zugzwang: Hee-hee… Sac! Release him from the hypno-ray!
Strobe turned off.
Narrator: The hypno-ray is
turned off. Groggily, Lord Elo emerges from his hypnotic state.
Lord Elo: I don’t see a bughouse variant…
Lord Zugzwang: Oh, my mistake. Must have been a rehearsal for some advent garde play of Mike Webb’s. Anyway, enough stalling, Elo! You’re running out of time. Make your move!
Lord Elo: “Oh, my”, tries to see the board. “uh, umm, I can’t remember….”
Lord Zugzwang: Make your move!
|
14 |
P d4xPc5 |
… |
|
Lord Zugzwang: Oh, my, Lord Elo. My poor bishop is under attack. Oh whatever shall I do?
|
14 |
… |
B d6xPh2+ |
Zugzwang: Check! And I have a discovered attack on your queen |
Lord Elo: Huh? How did I miss that?
|
15 |
N f3xBh2 |
Q d8xQd3 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Lord Elo: Without the queen, I guess I have to resign. Sorry, kids.
Lord Zugzwang (dancing): I won! You lost! I’m obviously superior! You’re a total loser!
Lord Elo: Enough, Zugzwang! Begin game 3.
(kids reset)
(Game 3)
Music: Hall of the
mountain king
Move # |
W: Lord |
B: Lord Zugzwang |
Commentary |
|
1 |
P e2-e4 |
P e7-e5 |
|
|
2 |
P f2-f4 |
p e5xPf4 |
|
|
3 |
B f1-c4 |
Q d8-h4+ |
|
|
4 |
K e1-f1 |
P b7-b5 |
|
|
5 |
B c4xPb5 |
N g8-f6 |
|
|
6 |
N g1-f3 |
Q h4-h6 |
|
|
7 |
P d2-d3 |
N f6-h5 |
|
|
8 |
N f3-h4 |
Q h6-g5 |
|
|
9 |
N h4-f5 |
P c7-c6 |
|
|
10 |
P g2-g4 |
N h5-f6 |
|
|
11 |
R h1-g1 |
P c6xBb5 |
Zugzwang: You’re down a Bishop, Elo! |
|
12 |
P h2-h4 |
Q g5-g6 |
|
|
13 |
P h4-h5 |
Q g6-g5 |
|
|
14 |
Q d1-f3 |
N f6-g8 |
|
|
15 |
B c1xPf4 |
Q g5-f6 |
|
|
16 |
N b1-c3 |
B f8-c5 |
|
|
17 |
N c3-d5 |
Q f6xPb2 |
|
|
18 |
B f4-d6 |
B c5xRg1 |
Zugzwang: Got me a rook |
|
19 |
P e4-e5 |
Q b2xRa1+ |
Zugzwang: You’re down two Rooks and a Bishop, |
|
20 |
K f1-e2 |
N b8-a6 |
|
|
21 |
N f5xPg7+ |
K e8-d8 |
|
|
22 |
Q f3-f6+ |
N g8xQf6 |
Zugzwang: And now I have your queen. (HA HA) |
Music dies. Dead
silence
Elo: Man, I’m down a
queen, two rooks, and a Bishop. (sigh) I guess there is only one thing I can do
now…
.
|
23 |
B d6-e7++ |
|
|
Lord Elo: Checkmate, Zugzwang!
Lord Zugzwang: No! My evil plans have been vanquished.
Lord Elo: Release the kids!
Lord Zugzwang: Fine! Sac?
(strobe light on)
Narrator: Lord Zugzwang
keeps his word and releases the kids from their trance
(Kids wake up as if from a trance)
Lord Zugzwang: You won this time! But I will return! (exit stage)
All kids crowd around
Lord Elo.
Small child: Lord Elo, you just conquered the evil Lord Zugzwang in a winner-take-all chess match and saved us all! What are you going to do now?
Lord Elo (turning to audience): What everyone here should do! See “Chess the Musical” here at Starlight!
Music: Yakkity-Sax
Everyone bows in the
joined-hand theater style